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As You Are: Ignite Your Charisma, Reclaim Your Confidence, Unleash Your Masculinity, by Nick Sparks
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You've been in that zone where socializing, both platonic and romantic, comes easy -- but most of the time you're not there. Around the women who intimidate you most you struggle to think of what to say, sabotage yourself in ways you don't fully understand, and feel confused about when and how to express your sexuality. You worry that you'll have to settle for someone who you're not all that excited to be with (if you're lucky enough to find anyone) and/or face a messy divorce when it inevitably doesn't work out.
That's why I wrote this book.
I've coached men on improving their social and dating lives for over a decade, charging thousands of dollars for a weekend program, appearing on national news outlets, and amassing millions of views on youtube. I have a success rate with my clients that puts the rest of the industry to shame, and this book represents the very best of what I teach.
I want to make this knowledge available now because I know what it's like to feel as though you'll have to settle for whatever comes along... like the women you really want to be with are speaking a different language. I wrote this book because I wish I had it back in middle school.
This isn't a collection of pickup lines or tricks. Let's face it - if those worked, you wouldn't be reading this right now.
Simply put, this book teaches you to be that person you are when you're "in the zone" all the time. It's about stripping away all the things that are keeping you from being naturally attractive. You've always known that, "just be yourself," was good advice, otherwise it wouldn't be repeated so often. This is the book that finally explains how to do it.
In this book you're going to learn:
- How to eliminate "rejection"
- Why the words you say don't really matter
- The action to take that will always get you "in the zone"
- How to identify the women that really want you to approach them
- Understanding what flirting means, and how to become a master at it
- What to text if she doesn't respond
- How to know exactly when she wants you to make the move
- What to say to start a conversation in any situation
- How to make conversations with people who intimidate you flow as smoothly as chats with your best friends
- How to get her to contribute equally to the conversation so you don't do most of the talking and run out of things to say
- How to easily overcome awkward silences
- The secret to being funny
- How to move an interaction forward sexually without ever worrying about being called "inappropriate" or "creepy"
- How to get a phone number that turns into a date 90% of the time
- How to ensure your dates are charged with sexual tension rather than ending in an awkward kiss attempt
- The way sexual attraction actually works, and why the lessons you've learned your entire life are wrong
- How to turn a friendship into something more
- How to build a social circle so you'll always have a "wingman" or someone to hang out with
- How to always look great, even if you're shopping on a budget
- How to scream confidence with your body language instead of insecurity
- The difference between "He was ok" and "He's awesome"
- How to develop yourself into the man who naturally attracts the woman (or women) you really want
Don't expect anything overly-complicated. You'll find yourself saying, "it can't be this easy," more than once - only to discover that you're the one who's been making it difficult the entire time.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: The language I use throughout this book represents men communicating with women because that's what I've successfully taught hundreds of guys to do. My advice, however, applies to anyone, man or woman, who's looking to improve their platonic and romantic communication with anyone else.
- Sales Rank: #27524 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-10-05
- Released on: 2015-10-05
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
Nick Sparks is a professional dating coach who, at 32 years of age, has successfully helped thousands of men live the social and dating lives of their dreams, been featured on CNN and various other international news outlets, amassed millions of youtube views, and, most recently, has become a #1 Amazon bestselling author. When he’s not pondering the deepest questions of human connection, Nick can be found enjoying nature, cheering on his Michigan Wolverines, and enjoying new experiences in the company of his dearest friends.
Most helpful customer reviews
26 of 29 people found the following review helpful.
Actual Interaction that happened (I am only half way through this book)...
By Kin T.
I have not finished the book yet but I want to share an incident that happened to me half way through reading it...
I will use this story as a review because I think different people can draw different references/insights from a story.
On my way home from grabbing dinner, I saw a girl and decided to be social and started talking to her. We hit it off really well and was sharing about our views on various topics. I invited her back to my place to continue our conversation and she agreed. Once we got to my place (my roommate was there), we chatted for another 20 mins. During this 20 mins, we talked about things like governments, religions, sexuality, and kinks/fetishes.
The more that I got to know her, the more I became interested in her…she is my type of girl
After about 20 mins or so she needed to go so I offered to walk to her back (because I genuinely care for her safety). Our conversation continued as we went in her house. The interesting thing is that we have so many shared interests and views we can talk for hours. We chilled for a little bit more. I decided to head out her place around 1:00am. Normally I would tell a girl that I was interested in them from the get-go; but for some reason, I was enjoying her company and had the mindset that since I am someone worthy of getting girls….I will let my personality take care of the rest. So towards the end, as I was leaving, I felt something was off because even though we were enjoying each other’s company, nothing was happening. So I sensed that I was in the friend zone.
As we were parting ways at her front door, I followed my #1 rule set for myself [to be honest and express my expression of love to women that I am interested in] and spoke my mind & expressed my interest for her. Then we walked back into her house and she gave me that talk about she is on/off with her ex and that we can hang out as friends, blah blah blah (basically the 'lets be friends speech'). Even though I got the "friend's" speech, I was proud to be able to bring the interaction to a place where I will be rejected as a man.
I am in the beginning of my journey, but there were a couple of concepts that I applied from reading the book that I was proud of:
1. I started the conversation by saying the first thing that came into my mind...I actually didn't think about the actual approach. It was natural.
2. I chatted with a complete stranger and brought her back to my place in 20 mins.
3. I was being social and had a genuine connection with meeting someone in the street…even at night!
4. Walked into her house without any awkward hesitation, I was focusing on the conversation and getting to know her instead of having alternative motives.
5. Instead of thinking about 'what to say' and/or 'what to do next'...I focus on being in the moment and listening to her. In other words, I chose to be interested rather than interesting.
When reflecting back to the whole interaction....these are the lessons that I learned (I think this book will cover these topic). These lessons will be ingrained in my head since she was my ideal type of women and I do not want to make these mistakes again in the future:
1. I am going to still have to show her that I am attracted to her by making more physical contacts with her.
2. I am going to have to be 100% comfortable with my desire + express it wholeheartly because otherwise, I am disrespecting her repressing how I feel.
3. I need to simply "Go for it", don't think about it or let her think about it in the name of honesty and respect.
19 of 23 people found the following review helpful.
Nothing Short of Perfect
By J. C. Hudson
I'm biased - Nick is one of my close friends, and we've worked together for years. So I've also seen this book evolve and become what it is today, which - in my opinion - is nothing short of perfect.
Nick has a gift for teaching the "secret language" of attraction... the stuff that's going on under the surface. He's able to identify and explain how and why attraction happens, and the amazing thing is that it's RIGHT THERE in plain sight. You've seen it and quite possibly done it. You just can't repeat it when it matters most... until you read As You Are.
For example, his first chapter, on "Holding Space". It's a shockingly easy concept to grasp, but when I think back to all of the times that I apologetically approached women (and obviously got rejected), or even times that I've been in professional settings, and intimidated by those around me, I think... man, EVERYONE should know this. Again - it's right there in plain sight, but you don't think about it until Nick points it out to you. Then you fix it, and everyone responds to you better, and you're like "oh - I knew how to do that all along... so why haven't I been doing it?"
The counterpoint to all of this: if you're looking for lines or routines or tricks, you won't find them here. So there's a certain segment of guys who are probably going to buy this and say "yeah, but what do I say in this situation or that situation?"
And of course, that's not the point. Attraction happens below the surface of words. You already know this, and if you want to know how to master it, then you also know it's not what you say, it's how you say it. And that's exactly where this book deserves every star I'm giving it.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
The Essential Book 99% Of The Dating Community Needs To Read
By Pat
There are certain people who you never forget about in your life, because there are no words to describe how they impacted you. They are the few who "bring you across the divide," from one world of experience to another.
One of these strange, uncommon people is Nick Sparks.
A disclaimer for those who read on: I am biased. I’ve worked with Nick, and I’ve seen not only how he’s helped others upgrade their lives but I’ve had the privilege of being apart of the community of likeminded men he’s created around the world (indeed, I got lunch with one of them today).
But more than any of that, I know on a personal level the quality of Nick’s teachings because of how he's transformed MY life. I was a guy who, despite years studying “pick up” and consuming thousands of dollars worth of dating advice, just couldn’t get it. I struggled with women, especially the ones I really liked, and felt fake and inauthentic.
So after a particularly terrible experience with a girl I decided it was time to really invest in myself and purchase Nick’s weekend bootcamp.
My life after it was never same.
To make a long story short, I went from having a mediocre dating life, where I struggled to make connections and keep girls interested, to dating multiple girls - honestly, without games or bulls*** - with the knowledge and freedom that wherever I ended up I could create the dating life I wanted.
And I did.
Fastforward four years from that fateful weekend and I’m married to the girl of my dreams and I have my own successful dating company. And I couldn’t have done any of it without what Nick showed me.
But enough about me. Because I have some good news and bad news.
The bad news is Nick is retired. And unfortunately, there is no replacement for live coaching, where you have someone cheerlead you on past your fears and insecurities, and correct your mistakes in real time.
But the good news is that all of that wisdom Nick distilled from his experiences, all that knowledge he dropped on us those weekends, is in this book.
And the better news is that unlike the $3000 I and many others happily paid for it all, you can get it here for a mere $8.
(Frankly, if you’re too “strapped for cash” to make this investment, good luck getting your dating life handled, because clearly your priorities aren’t in the right place)
Note for those of you who have consumed a lot of dating advice already: this book is not like other dating books. Trust me, as a dating coach I’ve read them all. While it’s immensely practical, it’s not filled with techniques. Nick’s material is disarmingly different from the rest of the dating world’s. Unlike most, he gets you out of your head and into the present moment by having you focus on the “big picture” essentials, and helps you not to sweat the small stuff (this is usually reversed, to the readers detriment). And rather than try and change you, like most “gurus," Nick shows you how to get the dating life you want without compromising on key elements of your personality. In other words: As You Are.
So buy it. It’s not only straightforward and refreshingly ungimmicky, it’s also well written and easy to read. I can vouch for this stuff changing my life. And it will change yours too, if you implement it.
Pat
[...]
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